Relationships why so hard

So when you join together with another human being to form a partnership, you have to accept that their past is coming with them, just as your past is coming with you. Before we continue with this list, are you facing relationship issues because of baggage or any of the other points? Talk to someone.

Talk to an experienced relationship expert from Relationship Hero. That might be as a couple or by yourself, but it will help you to understand those issues better and give you ways to overcome them. Click here to begin chatting with someone — sessions are held remotely via phone or video chat. Humans are social creatures, but there comes a point when all of us need to head off into a solitary wilderness metaphorically speaking and be with ourselves.

You may live with your partner and spend most of your free time with them. Withdrawing for a bit of peace and quiet is not so easy. Not only is it physically more difficult because of sheer proximity to one another, but your partner may not need as much alone time as you, or vice versa.

Neither option is very appealing, which is why this is yet another reason relationships can be difficult at times. Introverts find this a particular struggle because they need time and space to themselves in order to gather their thoughts, find their center, and recharge their batteries. Without it, they become mentally and emotionally depleted, which puts further stress and strain on the relationship.

Your colleagues, your friends, and even your family may not know what is going on inside that head of yours depending on what sort of relationships you have with these people. Given enough time for the relationship to fully develop, your partner will likely become the person you share the most with. And being this open with another person is not always easy. You may spill your guts out and your partner may stare blankly at you, not knowing what to say or do.

Many people lack the emotional intelligence to understand what you need from them in these situations. You may want your partner to be more open and vulnerable, to share their inner workings with you, but they may not be so willing. An imbalance of this kind can be challenging at the best of times. It can be a barrier to communication and it can lead to any number of problems. You may rightly or wrongly believe they are concealing something from you.

Trust issues can arise on both sides. A lack of openness can drive a wedge between two people. You breathe in new air, you see things through different eyes, and you both absorb and radiate a different energy.

Things become familiar, the norm, even repetitive. You soon realize that maintaining that bond of affection requires effort and energy. You have to work at a relationship. All of the previous points — from thinking of the other person to dealing with baggage — require a sustained effort to grow both as individuals and as a partnership. Some couples find it easier than others, but all need that care and attention in order to thrive. Sooner or later disagreement, dissent, and disappointment will emerge.

You may not want them or even expect them, but no relationship is without its ups and downs. The key is to address and deal with the downs, support each other when life throws a spanner into the works, and relish and maximize the ups. This is where the boredom and monotony of a relationship arises. How to Survive: As you learn to commit to one another, learn how to have open communication as well.

When you feel bored, try to come up with new things to do. Who takes the lead of the relationship? Should someone really take the lead? During this part of the relationship, there are power struggles on who makes the decision.

This is not how a healthy relationship should be. You learn to discover your individual differences and have mutual respect. During this stage, you should be able to rediscover the things you loved when you were single. At this point in your relationship, you already have gone through tough times that you have grown together and have renewed stability. You are now both growing as a couple and individuals. This stage seems like a positive turning point in your relationship.

While this is true, you should also be careful about being too complacent. How to Survive: During this stage, it is important to communicate with your partner. Try to find things that you both enjoy together, like going on outdoor trips or watching movies. Grow together by finding activities you both enjoy. Passionate love is the first stage, which includes intimacy, attraction, and sexual desire. Romantic love involves security, respect, overcoming hard times, communication, and comfort.

How to Survive: The challenge during this stage is communication and intimacy issues. In order to survive during this stage, build emotional intimacy with your partner. Try something new, break your everyday routine, go on dates, and have a healthy sex life. The seventh stage can occur at any time of the relationship, and this is so far the most challenging stage.

We at Mind and Body Counseling Associates, Reno, Nevada, collated the various reasons why relationships can get tricky and how to overcome these. Rogers advises knowing when to take a break and maintain your own sense of self. While it can be tempting to rely on your significant other for all of your emotional needs, this is where most relationship issues start. According to psychologist Nicole Martinez, the author of eight books, including The Reality of Relationships: "If [couples] do not let themselves be open, ask questions, and learn what their unique conflict management style is, they will struggle to get past the initial stages.

Furthermore, a fundamental component of successful conflict management is to stay curious. When you notice that your partner is upset, ask questions like, "Why did that bother you so badly? Possibly, one of the most dangerous killers of relationships is unrealistic expectations. Acording to Dr.

In her book The Real Thing, Washington Post features writer Ellen McCarthy quotes Diane Sollee, a marriage educator: "[Sollee] wants couples who are getting ready to walk down the aisle to know — really know — that it will be hard. That there will be times when one or both of them want out and can barely stand the sight of each other.

That they'll be bored, then frustrated, angry, and perhaps resentful.